Not For Me
by Razorwind's Angel
Summary: Duo starts to suspect Heero might be cheating on him, but doesn't know how to handle it. LOTS of Angst, and PG-13 for langauge. PLEASE R + R!!


A/N: Damn you Yaoi fans

A/N: Damn you Yaoi fans! You have won me over! So as much as I hate to I'm taking that next big step in to Yaoi-fanisim and writing an actual Gundam Wing Yaoi story…I have to admit though, after my first Shouen Ai (which I nearly became the victim of a mob murder…*Sweatdrop*) it actually is kinda fun to write those kinda stories…and it's even driven me to MST my 1xR and 2xD fics! Tee hee! Of course they are still in the works but they will be up soon I promise! Well read on! And Review please oh please!

Title: Not For Me

Genre: Song fic/Angst/Romance

Song: Not For Me Backstreet Boys: 'Black and Blue'

Warning/Rating: PG-13, for language and a little bit of Zechs bashing from Duo. DON'T KILL ME! 

Main coulple: 1x2

Others: 3x4 

Disclaimer: Do I own them? HELL NO! So leave me alone! *sniffles* I really wish I did, though…L 

And I don't own this song, but I can actually say I am some what affiliated with them! (My friend David, is a roadie and is working with them this summer, the bastard!) But sadly, I still have not met them…'course I'm still working on that. ;)

Key: _Thoughts_

{Lyrics}

Text

Not For Me – By RazorwindsAngel

{I was looking for something  
On a crime scene where you're in too deep}

"Arg! Come on I know there's gotta be something here!" Duo Maxwell cried out angrily, thrashing around his boyfriend's apartment, "Damn it Heero!" he tossed back a pile of clothes laying on the floor and stood up straight, taking in the surroundings of Heero Yuy's messy room. Things were tossed about haphazardly, piles of clothes and other junk shoved in to corners, and columns of dishes stacked high in the tiny kitchen.

"Ya know for the so-called 'perfect soldier' he sure is incredibly disorganized…" Duo muttered, scratching the top of his head and wondering where in the world he could have left his disk man. 

__

Duo, buddy you know that's not what's bothering you. Duo reasoned mentally. He sighed deeply, knowing good and well his disk man wasn't the reason he came over to Heero's place when the guy wasn't even home.

__

These past few months, you've been getting a bad feeling that something's wrong. All Heero's actions have been a little off lately, and it's making you worry…shit, forget worry it's making you fucking paranoid! 

Duo muttered incoherently under his breath and took another look around the room, something sitting on the dresser catching his eye. He walked over, stepping over large piles of junk to get to the cherry wood dresser with the large mirror that could hardly be seen over the things thrown on it. 

{I found a note with his number  
It's just another clue (that leads to you)}

"Hello. What's this?" Duo chirped, picking up a folded piece of purple paper, "Purple? Since when did Heero own purple paper?" Duo mumbled to himself. He carefully unfolded the paper, only to find a phone number he didn't recognize. 

"'Heero, call me. We'll make a date. See you then, Love Zechs.'" Duo read out loud, "'Love_ Zechs_'?! What the hell?!" 

{I got a little suspicious  
I got a feeling, that you ain't true to me}

Duo left Heero's apartment feeling confused and angry. He got on his Harley and took off like a bat out of hell, his mind running with a million and one questions. The cold wind whipped his face, making it feel numb, just like his emotions were right then. 

__

Maybe Zechs just gave it to him in hopes of something happening…but what if Heero did take him up on that offer? Shit, I didn't even know Zechs was like that! The way Heero's been acting lately, it's like he's got some kind of secret…is he being true to me? 

Duo decided he needed some advice and fast. He sped up until he came to a slightly hidden road and turned down it. As he traveled down the small road, his mind wandered back to a few weeks before when Heero had canceled on their third date that week…

{I should have known better  
Than to buy your lies (your sweet disguise)}

A few weeks earlier…

"Aw come on Heero!" Duo whined childishly, "This is the third time! What does Une want this time?! Couldn't it wait!"

Heero frowned and pulled on his jean jacket, grabbing his keys and walking for the door. 

"I'm sorry, Duo, but it can't. These bomb threats are becoming more frequent and she needs me to check in to them!" Heero explained evenly. 

"Can't Wufei do it!" Duo exclaimed, getting frustrated with his love. Heero spun around, almost angrily, and faced Duo.

"He and Sally are gone on a recon mission in space, remember? I'm the only one that can do it!" Heero told Duo firmly, raising his voice. Duo flinched and stepped back.

"Heero…" 

Heero's expression softened and he gently reached out and caressed Duo's face. 

"I'm sorry, Duo. I'll make it up to you. I promise." 

"Promise?" Duo pouted, acting completely like a child. 

"Cross my heart." Heero joked, adding a tiny smile in at the end. Duo sighed, dropped his eyes for a moment, and then nodded. 

"Oh okay, go. The world needs you, Soldier." He muttered. Heero patted Duo's shoulder and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"That a boy. This weekend I'll take you out for the biggest stake dinner!" Duo perked up a little at that, finally raising his eyes.

"That sounds like fun." He said softly. Heero turned and walked out the door, adding "I'll be back by midnight," before closing the door, leaving Duo to wonder what was happening to their relationship. 

Present Day

Duo frowned deeply and revved the engine, picking up speed as the tall pine trees zoomed by.

_Now I know what's happening…_

At Quatre Raberba Winner's mansion…

"Quatre! Quatre some one's at the door!" Trowa Barton hollered from the living room, where he was currently attempting to fix the TV. 

"Can't you get it, Trowa?" Quatre sweetly called from somewhere else in the large house. The doorbell rang again, very incessantly. Who ever it was wanted in right then. Trowa grunted and stood up, his hands still stuck in a mess of wires. This was going to be hell to get out of. 

"I'm a little busy!" Trowa answered with a frown. Little blonde, blue-eyed Quatre came tromping down the stairs, stopping when he saw the mess that Trowa was in. He tried not to smile, hiding his hand with his mouth as the doorbell rang yet again. 

"Are you okay over there, Trowa?" Quatre asked, trying to show more concern than humor for the situation. Trowa snorted rudely and puffed at a piece of loose auburn hair that had fallen in his eyes.

"I'll be fine. Get the door before who ever it is breaks the buzzer." Quatre smiled sweetly and headed for the door. When he opened it he was surprised to see a rather disheveled and upset looking Duo standing on the porch. 

"Duo! What a surprise!" Quatre exclaimed, "Mm…something's wrong, isn't it." Duo thrust the purple note in Quatre's face. The younger boy opened the note and read over it, several times in fact, each time his eyes getting wider and wider. Finally he looked back at Duo.

"Zechs?" he questioned, "…and Heero?" Duo nodded.

"Well I'm not sure but…well you know how he's been acting lately!" Duo cried out, pushing past Quatre and in to the house. He stormed in to the living room, flopping down on the couch and throwing his head back with a loud grunt of anger. Quatre trailed in to the room slowly, reading back over the note again. 

"Hello, Duo." Trowa's quiet voice came from behind the flipped over TV.

"Hi Tro-man." Duo muttered. Trowa poked his head out from behind the TV and studied Duo for moment, then turned to Quatre for an explanation. The blonde held out the note for Trowa to read. There was a long, uncomfortable silence in the room as Trowa scanned over the note. Then Trowa softly said to his boyfriend, "Quatre, help me get out of here, okay?" Quatre nodded and proceeded to untangle Trowa from the mess of wires. Once Trowa was free he wiped his hands off on a towel that had been lying beside him, then walked over to the couch and sat down beside Duo. 

"I'll go make some tea." The Arabian boy said, politely excusing himself from the room.

"I don't know what to make of it." Trowa said to Duo, getting right down to business. 

"Like I do." Duo muttered. 

"You have to remember, Duo, Heero is trained to fool people. You'll have to make the call yourself."

"How can I!" Duo exclaimed, sitting up straight and looking in Trowa's eyes, "You just said he's trained-"

"But I also know that you are one of the people that can see past people's disguises because you are so good and keeping your own." Trowa interrupted. Duo sighed and hung his head in defeat.

"The way he's been acting lately…I just don't know. He acts like he still cares for me, but he's always canceling dates, claiming he has to work at Preventers, that Une keeps calling him in. And he's always coming home really late. He hardly ever stays at my place any more…" Duo let out a ragged breath and ran his hands through his long bangs. He felt tears stinging his eyes, tears of pain, betrayal, love…

"Duo?" Trowa asked with concern filling his voice. Just then Quatre walked back in the room holding silver tray with several ivory teacups and a teapot. He set them down on a near by coffee table and joined Trowa and Duo on the couch. Duo raised his head and looked his two friends in the eyes, tears welling up in his own.

"He is isn't he?" he asked, his voice cracking from the tears, "I can see it. Them two together…" Duo trailed off, burying his face in his hands and letting a loud sob escape. Quatre felt his heart breaking at the sight of his usually happy friend crying. He placed a comforting arm around Duo's shoulder and pulled him close, letting the braided pilot cry on his shoulder.

"Why me? Why would he do this to me?" he sobbed, clutching Quatre's shirt in his hand.

"I don't know, Duo. I just don't know…" 

{Yeah, you can fool anyone  
But I've got eyes to see  
That you're not for me, babe}

Later…

"I really don't think he wants to see you." Quatre was informing Heero at the door.

"Why wouldn't want to see me?" Heero shot back, a little angry with Quatre's evasiveness. Quatre removed the purple note that Duo had given him and placed it in Heero's hand.

"Does this look familiar?" Quatre asked, a tiny bit of annoyance creeping in to his voice, "I can't believe that you would actually do this to him, Heero. After everything Duo has done for you…" Heero stared dumbfounded at the note. From Quatre's perspective it was hard to tell whether or not his confusion was an act. 

"Quatre…" Duo's hoarse voice came from behind the blonde. Quatre turned around to see Duo, disheveled, red eyed, puffy faced, and sniffling. He'd been crying for a good two hours on and off, and it seemed the smallest thing would set him off. Quatre knew the feeling, that horrible feeling of betrayal by those who you loved most. 

"Duo…what's going on?" Heero questioned firmly. 

"Can we talk? Alone?" Duo asked, wrapping his arms tightly around himself and looking to Quatre. The blonde nodded slowly and excused himself, stopping by Duo on his way out.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he whispered.

"I have to." Duo responded. Quatre bit his lip but said nothing, walking out of the room and up the stairs instead. Duo walked in to the living room, Heero following with just the slightest bit of apprehension. 

"What's this all about, Duo? Why have you been crying?" Heero demanded. Duo stopped walking and clinched his fist at his side, never turning around.

"You know damn well why. That note. You think I wouldn't figure it out? You really take me for that big of a dumb ass, Heero?" Duo growled, trying hard to keep his anger in check. He was beyond feeling sorry for himself now. Now he just wanted to kick Heero's ass from here to Kingdom Come. 

"Duo, you know that's not true!" Heero protested to Duo's accusations.

  
{No no, uh uh  
Things will never be the same again with you}

"Right…then what about the note?"

"Note?" 

"The one in your hand, bakayaro." 

Heero raised the note to eye level, staring at it like he'd never seen it before in his life. 

"Don't play stupid with me, Heero. I know what that note says. It's from that…that bastard Zechs!" Duo shouted, spinning around and pointing his finger at Heero accusingly.

{No no, uh uh  
Now I know what it's coming to  
No no, uh uh}

"You've been sneaking around with him, haven't you! All those nights you said you had to work you were going out with him!" Duo screamed, his voice raising in octaves.

{Cause if you think that it's the way  
That love should be, let me tell you  
It's not for me}

"Duo…let me explain!" Heero pleaded, taking a few steps forward.

"Stop! Stop right there, Yuy. If you think that love is just playing some one for a fool, then you're wrong! That's no the way it is for me and if that's the way you think _our _love is going to be, then you can just forget it!"

"Duo, I don't understand! Where is all of this coming from? Can't you at least let me explain that note!" 

{I don't wanna be part of your screenplay  
Just tell me did you rehearse on me}

"Explain? Why, so I can just be sucked in with more of your lies! Your deceit! I don't want any more of it! I feel like I'm the stand-in in some two-bit love story and all you're doing is rehearsing on me!" Duo snapped, folding his arms over his chest.

"Come on it is not like that!" Heero continued to plead, "You're the only one in my life, Duo. You should know that by now."

{Gimme the story  
Baby who's to win (me or him)}

"Me? Heero, if you really loved me you would have thrown that note away, not left it sitting out on your dresser." Duo said, his voice showing his hurt.

"Zechs gave me that note ages ago! Before we were even together!" 

"You expect me to believe that? We started dating after the war! When did he give it to you? _During_ the war?" Duo quipped sarcastically.

"Wh-wha-why-" Heero began to trip over his words.

"HA! I knew it! So tell me, Heero, since you seem to know this script so well, who's gonna win? Zechs or me?" 

"Duo, that's a stupid question…" 

  
{Caught in the middle and I´m tired of  
Your games of hide-and-seek  
I'm getting the feeling  
That it's time for me to leave}

"ARG! I hate these games of yours!" Duo cried out in frustration, throwing his hands up in the air and stomping around, tugging at his hair.

"What games?! I'm not playing any games with you, Duo!" Heero shot back, his tone getting edgy. It was all coming down on him, and he knew if he didn't play defense he was going to fail miserably. 

"'What games?'! 'What games?'! I'll tell you what games! You stick me in the middle then play 'Hide and seek' with the truth, that's what games!" Duo let out a heavy sigh and stormed past Heero, "Ya know maybe I should just leave." He said as he walked past. Heero grabbed his arm and roughly jerked him back.

"You're not going anywhere until we fix this. I want this to end about as much as you do."  


{You can fool anyone  
But I've got eyes to see  
That you're not for me, baby}

"Oh PLEASE!" Duo snorted, pushing Heero's hand off his shoulder, "Fix this? You really think I'm that fucking dumb, don't you? You think I can't see right through you? Stop trying to fool me like you do everyone else, damn it! I've had enough!" 

{No no, uh uh  
Things will never be the same again with you}

Heero's expression softened and he gave a little sigh, staring off in to space for a moment before saying quietly, "So I guess things aren't the same any more."

"Damn straight." Duo said in a clipped tone.

"Uh hu. And you don't want to try and fix this?" Heero asked, looking the younger pilot in the eyes. He wanted to fix it, he really did. But some how Heero knew that this time he had gone to far. Really the question didn't even need to be asked in order for Heero to know what was coming next. 

  
{No no, uh uh  
Now I know what it's coming to}

"Why? So you could hurt me again? So you can have an even bigger excuse to fuck around on me?" Heero grimaced a little at Duo's harsh words. Even though he knew what was going to be said, the words still stung like an open wound. 

  
{No no, uh uh  
'Cause if you think that it's the way  
That love should be, let me tell you  
It's not for me}

"I already said that kind of love is not the kind I want."

"You can't trust me anymore? Not even if I tell you what happened?" 

"Heero…" Duo trailed off. 

{I said no, no (No way…)

No no no, no no  
I had enough of your talk and your games  
And it won't go away  
Justify my reasons to say, reasons to say…}

"I've had enough of all this talk, okay? Telling me what happened won't make it go away!" Duo exclaimed, once again becoming angry with Heero's incessant pleading.

"You don't even want to know?!" Heero cried out, not even understanding Duo's reasoning. Duo let out a shiver and wrapped his arms around himself.

"The only thing that I want is the truth. I don't want your excuses. I don't want your lies. I want the pure, uncensored truth." Duo looked up at Heero with sadness in his eyes, pure hurt and pain forming in pools of tears. "Did you cheat on me with Zechs?"   


{No no, uh uh

I, I, yeah yeah…

Lemmie hear you say no, no, uh, uh}

"Duo…I can't say yes or no…" Heero trailed off, never meeting Duo's violet-eyed gaze.

"What do you mean?" Duo asked, narrowing his eyes at the tall boy before him, feeling a tear go sliding down his cheek.

{Let me tell you it's not for me

I said no no, uh uh}

"Yes, we've been out on a few dates, that much I will admit to, but as for anything else happening…I wouldn't let him as much as he wanted to. That much felt wrong and I told him I was still committed to you." Heero shoved his hands in his pockets and scuffed his boot along the dark carpet. Duo was only a tiny bit touched by Heero's display of actual emotion, but his anger and rage still over rode any other feelings. 

"And you think that changes what you did? Damn it, Heero! You lied to me! You betrayed my trust of you! It doesn't matter if you didn't fuck him! You sill went behind my back!" Duo yelled, tears finding their way down his cheeks once more.   


{'Cause if you think that it's the way  
That love should be, let me tell you  
It's not for me}

"Duo, I'm sorry! What I did was dumb! It was inconsiderate and foolish of me!" Heero apologized, hoping-no, wishing Duo would see things his way, "Honestly I never thought you'd stick around as long as you did." Duo sniffled and wiped away the tears with the back of his sleeve.

"Y-you didn't?" 

"No. You were just as content as I was to be moving from place to place, and for you to stick around for some one like me was inconceivable in my mind. Please, Duo, I didn't mean to hurt you." Heero pleaded, reaching out for his love. Duo started to return the gesture, but pulled back suddenly, turning around so Heero couldn't see his face.

"But you did hurt me, and now I can't accept your apology, Heero. It's too late. What's done is done and that's that." The words hurt for Duo as much as they did for Heero, the stinging feeling of betrayal now burning both of them. Duo didn't want to say it, but he knew that there was no way he would ever be able to trust Heero Yuy again.

{No no, uh uh  
Things will never be the same again with you}

"So, there isn't a chance for us?" Heero asked sadly, his face actually betraying emotion as he stared at a framed picture sitting on the mantle. It was of Quatre, Trowa, Duo and himself, all having fun as two loving couples out at a lake resort. 

_Those were better times…why did I ever do this?_   


{No no, uh uh  
Now I know what it's coming to}

Duo turned and walked by Heero, grabbing his jacket from off the end of the couch and putting it on. He stopped at the door, one hand on the doorframe, and barely glanced over his shoulder at Heero. Heero felt his heart sink to his feet. He knew what was coming next.  


{No no, uh uh  
'Cause if you think that it's the way  
That love should be}

"Heero, I think maybe it's time you get it through that thick head of yours that love is not a hit-and-run situation. And until you learn that, I mean really learn that…"

{Let me tell you  
It's not for me}

"I can and will no longer be your boyfriend. Good bye Heero." 

And with that Duo Maxwell left, leaving Heero Yuy standing alone. 

A/N: HA HA HA HA! I wrote that all in ONE day! Yee haa! :D Anyway, yeah…I'm on crack…but that's besides the point! Well people, was a little too harsh on poor Heero? Review this story please! If I really am gonna start writing Yaoi stories than I need to know if I'm doing this right! PLEASE! And if I get enough reviews I might just write a sequel to this! Well, gotta be splittin'. The open road and David's Harley call…*Big ass grin*

Until next time

This is RazorwindsAngel signing out…


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